


Broken Chains

by liketolaugh



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Death, I don't know it's really sad, M/M, kind of, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6356761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketolaugh/pseuds/liketolaugh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Allen wakes up, Link is already dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Chains

Allen wasn’t on a bed; he was on something hard, stone, maybe, with dirt and gravel scattered over it, and a puddle soaking his shoulder and back.

He ached all over, and he felt dizzy. His mouth was dry, and despite having just woken up, he felt exhausted.

He wondered what had happened.

“L-Link?” His voice cracked and he licked his lips, sucking in a greedy breath. “Kanda? Johnny?”

No one answered. Allen’s mouth twisted into a grimace, and he pried his eyes open, peering dazedly into the foggy air. The he rolled over, gasping painfully at the pull of sore muscles, and shakily pushed himself up.

His eyes, half-lidded and heavy, slowly roved over his surroundings. He was on a street, abandoned and a little smashed up, and scattered with slips of paper. Spell strips. There had been a fight here.

His eyes landed on a figure, sprawled on the ground, and his mind went blank.

_ Link  _ was lying on the ground. His eyes were closed, head tipped toward Allen, though he was lying on his back, one shoulder shoved up against a stone wall. His cheeks were smudged with dark bruises and smears of mud, one of which came dangerously close to his eye, and his jaw bore a long, but light scrape. His lips shone red with blood, and finger-shaped bruises lined his throat.

He wasn’t moving.

He wasn’t even breathing.

“Link!”

Allen didn’t realize he was moving until he was crashing into the ground, his arms and cheek scraping painfully against the rough stone as his weakened muscles gave out on him. He paid it no mind.

No. No, no, no, not Link, please. Link had to be okay. He was working with the Fourteenth, he was  _ safe.  _ He couldn’t be- Couldn’t-

Link still felt warm, heavier than usual in Allen’s arms. His head lolled until Allen brought up his arm to cradle it, and with his other, Allen pulled Link tight against his chest, tears already spilling down his cheeks.

“Oh God, Link.” The words were bitten out in a whimper, but then he was babbling, much louder and nearly incoherent. “Link, wake up, wake up, please. You’re scaring me. Please, stop it. This isn’t funny. Wake up. Stop. Stop, stop, this isn’t funny,  _ please  _ stop…”

Allen reached down and wrapped one hand around Link’s wrist. He couldn’t feel his pulse. But that didn’t mean anything. Link was fine. He was just pulling a cruel trick. Maybe something the Fourteenth had asked him to do.

“Stop it,” Allen repeated, eyes focused on Link’s face, willing the older male’s eyes to open. Link’s eyes were brown, russet brown, and Allen loved them, because he could always tell what Link was thinking about by checking where he was looking. “Please. At least tell me why you’re doing this. What did I do? Did- did I make you angry? Am I talking to you too much? Do you want me to leave you alone? Tell me!  _ Please!” _

...Why wasn’t Link moving?

Allen’s breath hitched, and his tears started to drip off his cheeks, splattering against the mud and blood on Link’s face, and he started to rock, squeezing his eyes shut.

_ He’s not moving. He’s not moving because he’s dead. Link is dead. He’s dead. _

His grip tightened enough that his muscles screamed in protest again, but this time, he ignored it. Anger flared in his belly and turned inward.

_ This is your fault,  _ he told himself furiously.  _ It’s your fault because you’re dangerous, you’re dangerous to be around! You’re dangerous and you knew that and you dragged him into this, you did this to him! _

“I’m sorry,” he begged. Link was getting colder. “Please, I’m sorry! Don’t leave me!  _ Please!  _ I’ll stop bothering you when you’re upset with me! I’ll act less reckless! I’ll stop getting up to eat in the middle of the night! I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, I won’t ever get mad at you, I’ll let the Fourteenth win, just please,  _ come back!” _

The next thing he knew, he was sobbing openly. His face was plastered with tears, which dripped down onto Link’s face and then fell out of sight, and he was clinging to Link like the man’s body was the only thing keeping him alive.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please, please, please, please-”

“Allen!”

Allen ignored the voice calling out, and the sound of footsteps, and the gasp and the hand on his back. His world had narrowed to the cooling body in his arms and the back-and-forth motion of his body, the pleas cascading from his mouth past his sobs.

“Is that- is that Link?” Johnny’s voice was surprised and alarmed. “Is he-”

“Obviously,” Kanda snapped.

“Oh,” Johnny said in a very small voice. Allen felt his hand on his back again and cringed away, a soft keen escaping his lungs. “I’m so sorry, Allen.”

Allen shook his head, his pleas grinding to a halt as his throat tightened.

“Sh,” Johnny urged, tears choking up his voice as well. “Allen, sh, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”

_ No, no, nothing’s okay, nothing is ever going to be okay- _

“Beansprout.”

Allen shook his head, choking on another sob. Link was pried from his hands and he cried out, and then there was an arm around his shoulders and his head was pulled to Johnny’s chest, and he struggled against him until he felt Johnny hold back a sob as well, and then all the fight went out of him, and he fell limp, feeling Johnny take his weight.

“Bean… Beansprout!”

“Kanda,” Johnny protested softly. “He’s just…” He sniffled. “Let him mourn. Please?”

“Johnny, I- For fuck’s sake. Take this and read it to him. I can’t deal with him when he’s like this.”

Kanda sounded uncomfortable, Allen noted distantly, tilting his head into Johnny’s shoulder as he continued to whimper, with no more will to sob.  _ Link. Link’s gone. He’s gone. _

There was a crinkle of paper and then footsteps, and Kanda was gone, leaving Johnny to shush and rock Allen softly, holding back tears himself.

“He’s dead,” Allen whispered after a long time, shaking. “Johnny, Link’s dead.”

“I know,” Johnny murmured, and Allen felt the other male’s breath hitch again. Johnny’s voice cracked on his next words, and Allen let out yet another soft, shaky sob, feeling drained and hollow. “But it’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

For a few more minutes, both of them were silent. Allen shuddered and struggled to breathe, tears still flowing from his eyes, and Johnny held him close, crying right along with him.

Finally, Johnny shifted around a little, and Allen heard the crinkle of paper again. “Um, this is- this is what Kanda gave me. D’you wanna hear it? It’s from-” Johnny’s breath caught. “It’s from Link.”

Allen opened his eyes. It was hard to see Johnny through his tears, and impossible to speak around the lump in his throat, but he nodded anyway, sitting up again so he was no longer leaning on Johnny. He curled up in a ball and let his eyes land on Link, limp and motionless, and a soft whimper left his lungs before he could stop it.

“Right, ah, here.” Johnny cleared his throat, voice wavering, and then started,

_ “Allen. I write this letter directly to you, but I’m leaving it with Kanda, just in case. I want to apologize to you.” _

Allen’s breath hitched again, and the tears came faster. He closed his eyes.

_ “I may have found a way to remove the Fourteenth from your body. It is a small chance, but… I decided to take it. For… you, Allen. I may not have been the best to you, in recent times, but I have thought, and I choose you, Allen. I have realized that I will always choose you, and I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know if this will work, or if I will survive, but I have to try. You deserve better. Believe me, Allen, you deserve better.” _

Allen was crying again, soft and helpless, but he never stopped listening. He didn’t dare. Johnny’s voice was shaky, reading the letter, but determined.

_ “I love you. I will always love you. I hope, Allen-” _ Johnny stopped and looked at Allen hesitantly. “Do you… do you want to read this yourself?”

Allen shook his head. He didn’t think he could, even if he tried. “Please,” he whispered.

Without another word, Johnny continued.

_ “I hope, Allen, that someday you can move on from all this. It may be a useless hope, a vain hope, but it is one of my reasons for doing this. I want you to live, Allen. I want you to move on, and have a family you love. I want you to be able to do those clown tricks you so enjoy, to play poker because you enjoy it and not because you need to, I want you to laugh and smile, and mean it when you do. I want you to find someone who loves you, who you can love back. Please, Allen. Try. Win, so that you can try. Remember, I love you, and I believe in you. Sincerely, Howard Link.” _

The moment Johnny closed the letter, Allen let himself go and keened, and he felt Johnny reach to hug him again.

_ Link, please. No. You shouldn’t have done it. Please, I need you. _

_ I need you. _

_ Come back. _

* * *

 

A week and a half later, Allen dreamed of Mana. When he woke up, Kanda was holding a sword to his throat, and Johnny was not in the room.

As soon as he realized what had happened, Allen locked himself in the bathroom and sat down in the corner and shook, silent and dry-eyed.

Whatever Link had done, whatever he had died for…

It didn’t even work.

_ I’m sorry, Link. I’m sorry. _


End file.
